


Why, Bea Arthur? Why?

by AnonymouslyDead



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Hannibal - Freeform, Harry Potter - Freeform, Like Good Omens, Nerdy Rambles, Sarcasm, Wade is annoying, Yukio and Ellie are nerd tm, fandom references, golden girls marathon, on the down low, so whats new, twilight - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 16:05:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20260783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymouslyDead/pseuds/AnonymouslyDead
Summary: Ellie is just trying to enjoy her book when Wade has to ruin it. At least, Yukio is there, too.





	Why, Bea Arthur? Why?

Ellie really should've guessed this would happen. The television was technically free; she may have sat in the common room, but she was too absorbed in reading her book to care about what it was on. It also didn't help that Wade had taken up temporary residence at the mansion. It would only be a matter of time before Wade interrupted her day.

Still, she could hope, couldn't she?

Her hopes were dashed when she finally noticed Wade sitting across from her on the couch, his face twisted into intense concentration. Ellie sighed. Either, something was about to blow up, or...

"Hey, Yukio!" Wade screamed, ripping Ellie's concentration away from the words of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchet.

"Hey, Wade!" Yukio responded.

"The marathon is about to start! Hurry up!"

Ellie groaned. She almost wished Wade was about to blow something up. Wouldn't be the first time the mansion has gone up in a bang.

But, no. That upbeat piano rift that made Ellie want to rip her hair out hammered out of the television. 

"Thank you for being a friend!" The television belted out along with Wade's terribly exaggerated attempts. "Traveled down the road and back again!"

"I'm this close to stapling your mouth shut." Ellie quickly dropped.

Wade shook his head. "They already tried that in X-Men Origins. Look where that left them." Ellie gave him a strange look. Wade shrugged it off. "Different franchise." He offered in explanation, though it didn't explain anything to Ellie.

Ellie shook it off. "I'm trying to read here. Do you mind?"

"Nah, keep reading your emo books. You're fine."

Ellie huffed. "I was here first." She deadpanned, giving him a glare.

"Yeah. Well, I was born first." Wade shot back like a child. Ellie rolled her eyes.

"Sure looks like it."

"Ouch, scalding. Did you spend all two of your brain cells coming up with that?" Just then, Yukio walked in, caring a bowl of popcorn and humming the final chords of the opening theme songs. "Yukio, your girlfriend's being mean to me." He whined. 

Yukio chuckled before offering Wade the bowl. Wade took a handful, quieting himself devouring buttery popcorn for the moment. Yukio then sat down at Ellie's side and leaned over Ellie's shoulder. Ellie set her book down. 

"Can I help you?" She asked, but it lacked her usual bite. She couldn't help the smile pulling at her lips as she looked into Yukio's curious eyes.

"I was wondering what you were reading."

Ellie turned her book, so that Yukio could see the cover. "It's Good Omens."

"Wait, I thought that was the show with the guy that played the Tenth Doctor." Yukio asked.

"That's total Michael Sheen erasure, and I won't stand for it." Wade commented, his eyes never leaving the screen as Betty White and Bea Arthur argued on about something mundane. Wade chuckled anyway, because of course, he would.

"Wade, mind your own business." Ellie snipped.

"It's kind of hard to when I'm trying to watch the Golden Girls, and you two are over here chit chatting."

"Hypocrite."

"Moody emo teenager."

Ellie made a face at him. Wade mirrored it but left it at that, turning back to his show. Ellie did the same with her book. 

"Wait, who's Michael Sheen?" Yukio asked. 

"I think he just pulled that name out of his ass." Ellie answered. Wade gasped.

"How dare? He is the most beautiful vampire out of the whole Twilight cast!"

"Of course, you would like Twilight." Ellie snorted.

"But, you like Twilight, too." Yukio said. Ellie blushed.

"I hate watched it once."

"No." Yukio teased with a sly smirk in on her face, one that told Ellie she was about to hate her girlfriend. "You have all the books. I saw them in your room."

Wade laughed. "Got em."

"Says the girl who went looking for secret passageways in the mansion, because you read Harry Potter one too many times."

Yukio held up her pointer finger. "Harry Potter is amazing though. And, I did find a secret passage."

"Colossus' secret stash of Cadbury bars doesn't count."

"Wait, Colossus has a what?" Wade jumped to his feet. 

"Third floor vent system. Take two lefts and a right. They're right over his room." Ellie explained. Wade nearly bolted from the room, much to Ellie's joy, except-

"Don't bother. Colossus moved them." Ellie and Wade stared at Yukio who had an awkward chuckle. "May have swiped from his stash one too many times."

"Don't worry about it. We all swiped from it." Ellie assured her with a pat to her arm. However, she couldn't quell her annoyance when Wade chose to stare at them in betrayal.

"I didn't! Why did no one tell me about this mysterious stash!" Wade cried. 

"Because you can't keep your mouth shut." 

Wade made as if he would respond before sighing in defeat. He flopped back onto the couch. "Fair enough." He let a second of beautiful silence pass. 

"We'll have to watch Twilight together sometime." Wade said casually enough. Ellie nearly ripped her book.

"Shut up, Wade."

"What? Too good for Twilight now?" Wade teased. "I bet you watch stuff like Doctor Who when no one is watching just to keep up your tough girl façade."

"I said shut up!"

"You two are such nerds. It's so cute. I love it." Wade continued to tease.

Ellie's annoyance reached a boiling point. Her eyes started to glow as her powers boiled up inside her in reaction. Once she realized, she let out a few quick breaths, trying to calm herself down. She felt her powers simmer down and then sighed. She felt Yukio grab her arm, giving her a concerned look. Ellie nodded to show she was ok.

"Had a nuclear meltdown?"

"That's enough, Wade." Yukio scolded. Wade looked surprised for a moment, but the look quickly faded. He held up his hands. 

"Fine. Fine." He stood up. "I know when I'm not wanted."

No, he didn't, Ellie wanted to snap. But, Wade was already leaving. Best to not jinx it. 

"Thanks, Yukio." 

Yukio nodded with a fond smile. "I know Wade can be a little much for you."

"For anyone really." Ellie mumbled. She looked around the common room, finding it as bare and empty as usual. "You want to watch to rewatch Hannibal?"

"Sure!" Yukio snatched up the remote from where Wade abandoned it. She set the television to play the first episode while Ellie set a bookmark on her page and set it aside. Ellie took advantage of their solitude and nuzzled closer to Yukio, resting her head on her shoulder. Yukio pressed her cheek against Ellie, watching as Will Graham went about solving the first of many murders. 

...Wade may have a point. They are nerds. 

**Author's Note:**

> Would love to hear feedback! Comment what you think and hit that kudos if you liked it!


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